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An Trú Chánh Niệm Đằng Trước Mặt

Tháng Mười Một 22, 2017, 01:59:01 AM *
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Tác giả Chủ đề: Where is happiness?  (Đọc 111 lần)
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Rancon
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« vào lúc: Tháng Mười Một 12, 2017, 01:30:27 AM »

I am compelled to write this post, on my tiny phone, so forgive any typo there maybe. I can’t explained why I have the urge to write this in English and not my mother tounge, but if it could reach out to you, pls share your thought.

I found hstd by chance, met and became a student of Tibu by fate. But it never occurred to me why I chose to run this path and what I wanted to take out of it. At first it was because I wanted to do something for my Mother. Then I wanted to prove something to others. Perhaps I wanted to be recognized, to have assurance that my effort was worth something. Then it was about getting out of karmic debt, having a better life, for myself and others of my family. But I found that I was never truly happy. Occasionally I feel delighted to have my Guru’s complement, but it never ends the continuous race up the top, and sometimes competitions with other people. OccasionallyI find that fulfillment when I was able to “do something,” like healing pains for people and experience the world of meditation. But it never lasts.

I realized it was not about others, the practice, the community, or the experience itself. It was about myself. It was about my definition of “happiness “ and what I associate “happiness” with.
I have yet to find a word to discribe it.

But today, after months, or actually, years of neglecting my practice, and keep asking myself what truly makes me happy, I came across something. It was not in others. It was not a thing, a feeling, a person. It was a space.

When I had to come to accept that everything ends and a cycle must complete, and that happiness or sadness eventually have to “die” when its karmic cycle is completed, when I accepted that we eventually have to let go, I lay down and meditate. I meditate not because I wanted to find peace, happiness, fulfilment. I meditate because that’s what I did during my darkest moment and that’s when I was able to communicate with myself. And I wanted to tell myself that it’s ok to learn through loss. Then I experience a universal image of “nothing”.
To me, it’s the space when all feelings go through the filtered process and become its purest form. The form of nothingness. It’s where you dont have to try so hard to feel anything. It’s the space where yoursoulf just rest easy, weightless. If that’s not happiness, I dont know what to call it. And I shed tears of joy..

My friends, we all come here in search of things. Or feelings. I know this place will provide you with the right knowledge and skills you need for rhe practice to get to that space, where nothing matter anymore, where you can see the purest form of this universe. You will have to see for yourself, to belive and stand firm on your road of finding nirvana. I just wanted to tell you this road will be long, difficult, and lonely. Your experience will be only your own. But trust that if you use the right meditation technique and search for the right thing, which is within yourself, one day you will see a glimse of it. And you will know what is that happiness you are searching for.

With loads of love and joy.
« Sửa lần cuối: Tháng Mười Một 12, 2017, 01:36:26 AM gửi bởi Rancon » Logged
TLT
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« Trả lời #1 vào lúc: Tháng Mười Một 13, 2017, 05:45:37 AM »

(Chừ ơi! cái bài của "người ta" hay vậy, mà khi không đi viết... Tiếng Anh !)
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